The Definitive Guide to Properly Filling Ten

Minutes of Oral Commentary Like a Boss

 

Techniques to Employ

 

-Optional: Adopt an accent. It will make you take yourself less seriously and generally be less nervous.

Less nervous=slower speech=good.

 

-On a similar note speak slowly without sounding like a monotonous whale. It will help you fill the time.

 

-Adopt a meditative style of breathing. In and out.

 

-Remember you don't have a lot to say, but you have a lot of time to fill. Use it.

 

-Recognize opportunities to use buzzwords like: imagery, juxtaposition, paradigm, ambiguity, diction, mood, tone, style, purpose,

point of view, etc. You cannot just state buzz words, you must justify them. Also try not to use too many of your buzz words in

one sentence. You need them to last.

 

-Make seemingly random good and evil comparisons if and when you can justify them.

 

-If you are fairly confident that you have found an example of a phallic symbol point it out and make sure to explain it appropriately.

This can be risky however, and should only be attempted when in dire straits.

 

-Restate the same sentences in slightly different wording while you are creating your next piece of bs.

 

-Sometimes your sentences don't even have to mean anything as long as your vocabulary sounds sophisticated, confident, and convincing.

Be careful not to employ this technique too much or the listener will catch on.

 

-Do not say "ummmmmmm," "aaaaaaaaaaaand," or "you know?" Like is bad too unless you are trying to say that someone likes something.

Seriously. Don't do it.

 

-Take notes on the paper the passage is on and be sure to write down some sort of thesis statement. Sounds dumb, but this will keep you

on track.

 

-Bring water to keep your vocal cords properly lubricated. Warm is recommended over cold for scientific reasons that are probably

over your head if you need this guide. It can also be useful to sip water while pondering the phrasing of your next sentence.

 

Oral Commentary Checklist

 

1. State your full name.

 

2. State your IB Candidate Number.

 

3. State the title of the work. Giving the author name and interesting relevant facts about that lend themselves to the work (ie. Author was depressed so explains some sad diction)

is helpful here.

 

4. Put it in context. Cite events leading up to and as a result of the passage in question. This is sure to fill a lot of time and is also strongly recommended by Stephen Hawking.

 

5. Pick 3 or 4 (broad) main points to focus on as you wade through the murky waters of bs.

 

6. Follow a train of thought so that you make a little bit of sense. This is essential.

 

7. Point out any allusions and tell why these are significant. Two passages are better than one.

 

8. Attempt to explain the purpose of the passage using justification and literary techniques when applicable. If you can't seem to find a purpose, remember this quote

"A poem need not have a meaning, and like most things in nature, often does not have" -Wallace Stevens

 

9. Conclude. Do not simply quit speaking. Restate many of the themes you may have happened upon while mining for bs and when you are finished you may stop the tidal wave of bs you have set into motion.

No awkward utterances are necessary

 

How to Practice

 

1. Find a friend.

 

2. Get copies of passages (Random passages and passages you have done in class are good.

Both have their purposes).

 

3. Read the passage.

 

4. Start a timer for 2 minutes. Start preparing some vague ideas to talk about while this two minutes is going on.

 

5. Begin your commentary. Speak until one of two things happens: you are silent for a time approximately 10 seconds or longer, or you reach 12 minutes.

 

6. Switch people.

 

7. Repeat. A lot.

 

8. If you hear something you like, add it to your list of possible subjects to speak about.

 

Written by: James Budday and Connor Ray. Feel free to submit suggestions in the comment section and if they are good,

they will be added and you will be credited. Also if Mrs. Proctor has the power of page name editing, changing "on" to

"to" would be most appreciated. This has been a Ray Budday production all rights reserved. Give us your money.

 

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